How We Can Honour & Connect With Our Ancestors

When I was a small girl, I watched my father offer his first piece of roti (Indian bread) onto the floor, at the outset of each meal at home. 

“Dad, why are you throwing food on the floor?” I’d ask.

“I am praying to the deities,” he answered. “We feed them before we feed ourselves.”

It’s a fond memory.

After my father’s complicated and tragic death four years ago now, I have been offering the first morsel of my meals in this same way – with a prayer to the ancestors, to the deities of our lineage – Jai Durga, Jai Shiva, Jai Ganesh – as well as to the ancestors and spirits of the land I am residing on. I continue this practice of gratitude, of Divine acknowledgment and devotion – to carry the lines forward, just as the ones before me. It’s a space to pause, connect, pray, and honour.

How Else Do I Honour and Connect With My Ancestors?

I practice ancestral reverence through ritual, ceremony, ancestral altar building and maintenance, making offerings, observing the annual 16-day ancestral lunar veneration period of Pitru Paksha from full moon to new moon. I have images of my ancestors and lineage deities on the altar, I make sacred offerings daily that represent the five elements (light – diya, incense/smudge – agarbhati, water from a natural source, flowers, sweets, fruit, sacred sound –  the ringing of the ancestral brass bell of my lines that has been sounding through the lineage for several decades. Connecting and honouring the murtis (deity statues) and ceremonial pieces of the lineage, chanting mantra, singing bhajans, reciting slokas (prayers), doing aarti (singing the sacred songs of my tradition and carrying out the ritual of my culture). Preparing and sharing ancestral prasad (food); making regular pilgrimage to my ancestral land of India; speaking my ancestral language whenever there is opportunity to; feeding the birds with homemade sesame rice balls and/or the favourite traditional meals of my ancestors. These birds carry our prayers and blessings up to the ancestors. We offer these same sesame rice balls when a loved one departs – to inaugurate them into ancestorship, through ceremony.

We do all of this to carry the ancestral altar and the lineage forward – to stay connected, to honour them, to practice devotion, to keep the lines open, connected, to send them prayers and receive their blessings, and to bring healing to the lines.

How Do You Honour and Connect With Your Ancestors?

What are the songs of your ancestors?

What are the foods of your ancestors?

How did they pray, honour and celebrate?

Where are their ancestral lands? Have you travelled to them?

What are their rituals and ceremonies?

What are the traditional offerings of your lineage?

You don’t have to be from a traditional culture to honour and connect with your ancestors. Anyone can honour their ancestors in their own way that feels true for them.

Here are a few more reflection questions to inspire how you could honour and connect with your ancestors:

What are your ancestors’s favourite songs?

Sing these songs.

What did they love to eat?

Prepare these foods and offer it to them.

And enjoy them yourself while connecting to their spirit.

What was their favourite tea?

Brew this tea daily and offer it to them.

And enjoy sipping on it while connecting with their spirit.

What was their favourite flower?

Put these flowers on your altar.

Offer these flowers to them.

How did they express creativity?

Engage in these activities and remember them through the action of doing them.

Where did they like to visit?

Go to this place as often as you can – and remember, celebrate and honour them when you do.

What is their favourite place outdoors?

Spend some time there regularly, and commune with them.

How did they express themselves in the elements?

Make an offering to them with these elements in mind.

What are the lands they come from?

Make a pilgrimage to these lands. Go to the sacred sites of this land. Make offerings to them there.

How did they feel most alive? What lit them up?

Engage in an activity of this nature that comes to mind and remember and celebrate them – while connecting to their spirit.

What are the insights and wisdom that they were always sharing?

Perhaps they inspire you and you could aspire to live them.

Write a letter to your ancestors.

What do you want to share with them? What do you need support with? What do you wish for them?
After you write it, you could offer it to the elements.

Talk to the living generations before you. 

Ask questions and listen to the stories of your ancestors. Be inspired by them. Share them with the next generations.

Create an altar dedicated to your ancestors.

Be sure to include images of your ancestors, and sacred objects that represent them and your lineage. Include the offerings mentioned above that resonate for you. Make offerings regularly and keep the altar tidy. Connect with this altar daily, even for five minutes. Commune with your ancestors so they can support you on your path, and you can support them by bringing peace and healing to your lines through steady practice and devotion.

What are some more ways we can honour and connect with our ancestors?
Please comment below, I would love to hear from you!


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